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Post by Admin on Jan 19, 2009 18:50:02 GMT -7
Sure thing, Chichi! And don't worry Punkyspikes- The first bio is always the hardest!!
--Kiyana
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Chichi
Warrior
[M:50]
Posts: 175
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Post by Chichi on Jan 20, 2009 6:14:39 GMT -7
Just a few more itty-bitty grammar mistakes. Mostly, capitalizatiom. Otherwise, it's good. Almost there!
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Post by Admin on Jan 28, 2009 16:04:57 GMT -7
Well, I still have a couple little errors with it, but they're ONLY IN THE IC EXAMPLE! *cheers* Just capitalize the beginning of every sentence, and have each little talking thingy on it's own seperate line. THEN you'll be good to go! ex. "Hello!" greeted Pebblestar cheerily. "Uh, hi?" came the response of the depressed tom, Palefang. "How are you feeling?" she asked, her bubbly personality showing very well.
Something like what I gave you up there. I'll go more in depth at school tomorrow!!
--Kiyana
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Post by Admin on Jan 28, 2009 21:11:29 GMT -7
Yaay! Finally finished! ...Damn. I just realized, she's WAAAY too young to be a leader. She would have just become a warrior 2 moons ago, and since she has to have had an apprentice which takes another six moons... She needs to be at least 23 moons old! I'll fix this fer ya though; I'm sure your tired of modifying it every day -.- I luv yuh!!
--Kiyana
~Accepted. Moving/Locking~ (I want you to know I originally wrote "licking" instead of "locking"!!)
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